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|Gurtha, 77 - Sunrise, hr 4|
And, finally I've arrived here on the island again...it's empty and left behind, just like last time. It hurts to see no one living here, but I suppose their life is better at the other island. They were working on new things I had never even considered. I just hope I will be able to defeat them when I arrive, together with my son...
I sigh, working on some fire. I must be about fifty long years old by now...I've stopped counting a very, very long while back. And what'd I reach in this time, this eternity? Nothing at all, really...just sadness, and pain, melancholy and longing for better times. Maybe if I crush them all, every single little head of every single little creation...maybe I will! But it'll be a tough thing to do. I doubt I'll have the time...so little to do, yet so little time to do different.
All this thinking...I really must be getting too old and foolish. Guess not too much longer until I'm like Krowe: fucked up in the head! May the Light guide my way, to better times and worse.
|Lasse, 77 - Midnight, hr 1|
My brother, Irhel, began hunting today. He often refuses to eat anything but meat, and he constantly bites at people and hisses, so I suppose I am not surprised. He scares me sometimes.
I want to hunt as well, but I don't feel I am old enough yet. It's not that I want to kill; I want to feed my family. Many have starved to death, now; some I never even met. I don't want that to happen anymore.
|Vasa, 77 - Sunrise, hr 4|
With ease the sheep and falcons and cows are falling around me now. They cannot resist my strength, and I cannot resist laughing at their forever-lasting struggle to escape my hands, my teeth, my body. As I strangle them, bite them, cut them open and eat them alive! Oh, how I remember the days of joy Krowe and I had, jumping from animal to animal, slashing and slaying like true masters of the fight. All were to perish! Krowe and I would surely destroy anything in our path from there on! But no. We would no, I would be alone while Krowe tended to watching the children...caring for them, even! He disgusts me, the foul creature he is. I cannot trust him anymore...it took too much effort to get him to mate with that disgusting girl.
I rub some cream on my wounds, and stare into the distance. This place did change...
|Khelek, 78 - Before dawn, hr 2|
I have been wandering aimlessly away from the land of snow and ice. In my travels found some soft, white powder by the shore. It tastes and smells of the ocean. I put some in a small wooden box. The box is something I found beside the body... The body of some strange being. It was about as tall as I am, with blue skin and purple hair.
I walked on, and soon I came across a group of these beings... standing and speaking! I hid from them at first, but they soon called to me and told me to approach. I did so, warily. They all look at me with wide eyes, as if they are unable to believe that I can exist. I imagine I am looking at them with much the same emotion. I find it difficult to understand their speech, and I struggle with speaking in a manner that sounds educated to them. My own thoughts race easily to and fro, but their tongue is ...
I learned their names: Zauthat, Tayia, Talya, Mochiato, and Semarala. Semarala is very kind, though impatient with her comrades. Apparently these people originate from a place called Iron Mountain. Semarala gave me instructions of how to get there. Since her kind are unable to swim, I will travel through the ocean and wait for her there.
|Khelek, 78 - Sunrise, hr 5|
"Nisa, more Joshuas have arrived, come quick!" Atsu had said. I was in the tent, looking after the septuplets. But my brother's words worried me. More Joshuas?
The Joshuas, also known as hairless anu (though it didn't make much sense to me, even with fur, they would look completely different) came from some far away land called Magrathea. They had rounded ears, were a little short, and had high pitched voices. the first Joshua we met was called Joshua, and he was a little frightening in my eyes. Perhaps the new Joshuas were aggressive?
I left the tent and froze in shock. There were two of them, and they had an adolescent aura about them. They wore feathers o their clothes, and one of the the two females clutched a vulture to her breast.
"Why does that one carry a vulture like a pup?" I muttered to Atsu.
"Perhaps they save it to kill later?" he replied.
Despite my fear, Atsu greeted them openly and led them to where most of the anu spent their time. One was Tahlia, and one was Tessi. I especially liked Tessi, she was friendly, and accepted Aten and Sekah as soon as their names were mentioned! Tahlia, well, she is a strange one. I especially want my pups to avoid her!
|Khelek, 78 - Midday, hr 7|
The fire, the burning, the screaming... oh, the screaming. Make it stop.... make it stop.
I cover my ears, close my eyes. I seem to be screaming... maybe it'll drown everything else out.
Soon, it all stops. I look up slowly. Her battered body lies there, charred and helpless.
Everything becomes a blur... I think I'm screaming again. Maybe it'll make her come back.
She was different, with a fire burning behind her eyes that was beautiful and scary. Now the fire has taken her soul, and consumed it, nothing to remain but her lifeless body.
My throat feels raw... nothing seems to be working. I give up, leaving the others to take care of her. I go outside, staring at the monster that took her life.
Someday you will see my fire.
Someday you will feel this pain.
Soon I will consume your soul.
|Kuile, 78 - Afternoon, hr 8|
I see light. A woman standing before me. Mama. It's so very cold here! So many people...where am I? I don't like it here!
|Rosa, 78 - Sunrise, hr 4|
Today seemed like it was going to be just a fine, average day, but that wasn't going to last long. Draven just lost it when he saw this girl Cailin. I've never seen her before, but Draven obviously didn't like her. He pulled a knife out at her, and his own father, screaming and yelling about something that just seemed so pointless to me. I sat there in silence, watching... he just wouldn't stop yelling, and then he actually pressed the blade to her neck, sinking it into her skin. I just seemed so unreal, to see Dravin take this girls life... Anger filled my heart as I watched him flee. If he was willing to kill this one girl out of rage, what's going to stop him from attacking my family? He had to be dealt with, though I might not be enough to stop him... I am still going after him, to kill him.
|Rosa, 78 - Sunrise, hr 4|
Murder, this time not by the one called Melian. His name was Draven, and he killed a girl, a defenseless girl.
I think her name was Cailin. I had not seen her before today, but aparently Draven had. He ran up to her, yelling and screaming. Blaming her for things that Isengar did not understand, blaming her about things having to do with someone else. Hinrod? None of it made sense, but he was just yelling. People here yelled all the time.
People did not pull knives on each other all the time. Other then Melian, no one here tried to hurt anyone else. That was true before today at least. The knife sank into her throat but did not draw blood. Not yet. He kept screaming at her and the one called Hinrod. Neither made a sound or a move. Draven said Hinrod cared about her, but he did nothing. This seemed to make Draven all the more angry. And thats when the blade did more then just press against her neck.
Draven ran away after the murder. I ran to the forest to hide. He seemed so angry and I couldn't stand to be around all the blood, innocent blood. I had seen too much of death here. I had to leave. This was the last time I wanted to see such a cold-blooded murder. I would bide my time, make preperations, and leave as soon as I could.
|Rosa, 78 - Sunrise, hr 4|
((For a version with journal artwork, check the Kindred forum thread: Write-ups about ingame events))
She is waiting for me.
I’m sorry I dreamed about the sleeping beauty. Mira, Miratine, who never woke up to see the picture I made of her. The true beauty is home, I realized that now. And I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm flying. If they let me, if they leave us alone.
I used to hunt in this forest when I was younger. Draven Wolfslayer.
Now I leave it as Draven the slaying wolf.
Is that me who is laughing? Me who is crying? A voice resonates in the chilly forest, and I believe it could be me.
Elva, I think I am going insane. If you are somewhere out there, let me go home. Make them leave me... us alone. I never want to see them again. Any of them. We waited and waited, oh how we waited. Year after year, for their empty promises, for the affection they used to have. Waited in the cold, in the snow, with little food, no house, and no healing salve.
Zos, I will always remember how you kissed my toes when we were little. I loved you then, with all my little boy heart would give. I wish you could see me now... little boy no more. But you never came, you preferred to stay with HER. She who took everything away, and made Ewon settle in what used to be our home. It all started with her, her, her. Because you had to run after her, you and Tee and mama. You did not run after me. HER, always HER.
Papa, I used to believe in you. I truly did. Even as you disappointed me over and over again over the years, I was always willing to give you another chance. Willing to believe again. That you would come with mama. That she loved us, that she cared. That everything would be alright.
We should have left, without a goodbye. I should not have returned to Melian's forest. But I wanted to leave a message for you. When I saw you moving in the distance with someone else, my heart bounced with hope. Din told me it had to be you and mama. I believed you had finally come to fulfill your promise, cold and alone no more. I truly believed in you, this one last time.
But you brought HER.
I told you why I never returned to Lorelei. Why we stayed in the cold, alone. I knew if I returned, I would do something bad. All those years since we ran away as little children, the wolf grew. Every year it grew a little more, until it was a storm of rage, just waiting for HER. I knew, Papa. I stayed away from Lorelei. I saw it in a dream. The blood on my hands. The knife at her throat.
But you brought her, you brought her to me... when all I wanted was to go home, to go away with Aba forever. Just one more day, and I would have been gone. Why did you have to bring her, Papa? Why? Why could I not believe in you even this one last time?
Elva, Elva... I think I killed her. Cailin, I killed Cailin.
The wolf in me. It was so angry. You could have calmed it with your love, all of you in Lorelei. But you ran away. Over and over again, you ran away from me, to HER. Ma-mama Melian spoke to me more, cared more in those few years than mama ever did. Yet she would not allow me to call her mother.
They are coming, they are behind me, calling for my blood. I want to see Aba again. Abagail is my home, I realized that now. She is the only one who never left my side, who never stopped caring. Aba, I'm coming, I'm flying, I'm coming home. Will you let me steal another kiss from you? Maybe we can outrun them. Aba, Aba, do you remember the dream I told you about? We can go now, just the two of us, just go on forever. And every place we see will be more beautiful than the last. Just like I dreamed it. We can make it true, you and me.
But they are coming, they are coming, they are calling for my blood. They will never let go.
Will you tell your children that I would have loved them? Will you name your son Draven? Aba. Aba, I want to go home with you.
Home is you.
Maybe they will have mercy. Maybe they will let me finish my journal. All the drawings, more powerful than words, and done more easily.
They are coming, they are calling, they are tracking the wolf blood.
|Rosa, 78 - Afternoon, hr 8|
Well, there they go again. Mama and Dada love the baba kutari, but they never stop!!
|Lote, 78 - Sunrise, hr 4|
Excerpt from journal:
Today I helped Melia hunt for the first time and gave her my armour and things. It is funny, I just was rereading my journal and realized I made her first rattle, now I'm teaching her to hunt though I'm only a few years older than her. I'm glad she is my sister. I keep forgetting how old she's gotten.
Cailin left a while ago, to visit Melian. She didn't even talk to me. I told Zos I'm done with her, and I am. Really done. I love her but not like I should love a mate, and she doesn't love me or she wouldn't have done that, left without a word. Zos and I talked, and I'm not going after Lilly either. Maybe someday I'll find someone to love again, but until then I have to take care of Auda and the little ones.
|Lote, 78 - Midday, hr 6|
Sofia finally left today. I hope for good.
|Urnu, 78 - Afternoon, hr 8|
Jahban is born at last! He sleeps peacefully...I love the baby Kutari.
|Urnu, 78 - Afternoon, hr 9|
Excerpt from journal:
I found out Cailin was murdered by Draven. This is...an awful feeling. Poor Auda, she is so broken up by losing her mother. Though I had begun to write her off I guess I never really expected her to be...gone. I feel selfish, because when I want to try and forget her, she becomes front and center once again and all the feelings inside me are just...confused. She was my sister and I loved her, however strange she might have been. Soon Nicholas will join his mother in death - he hasn't moved in years. We can't keep feeding him, with the new little ones of Zos' now. I wish I could change things, but I told Auda we can't take vengence, nothing good comes of it.
|Urnu, 78 - Evening, hr 10|
I met Jarvick and Aliesa. They are also members of the same race as Semarala. Apparently they were leaving Iron Mountain to find a new home. Jarvick was interested to know what was in the area, but I could not offer him very much information, and I found it difficult to understand him, though he seemed excited about something. I continue on.
|Urnu, 78 - Evening, hr 10|
It took him awhile to realize she was gone.
The little makeshift house of shells patched together with clay was as he had left it, the ocean roaring on one side, the dead remains of the last campfire interrupting the pure whiteness of the snow on the other. Later on, he would hardly remember. How there had always been another place to check. The small cave he had cut from the hill. The frost-coated shrubbery. A further bend along the shore.
And all the while, his father stood as a looming figure, never far away, watchful, his face furrowed, broken by despair long before Draven had finished his search. He finally turned towards him, slowly, as he would in a bad dream.
"Aba's gone, Dre. An' I think she wanted you to have this."
The bad dream found him in the shape of a letter.
You'll hate me for this. I know you will. But it's probably better that way.
I'm leaving, and I don't plan to return. I have my reasons, ones I'm sure you can guess. I don't want to hurt you, and I think this is the best way to do so. I don't know where I'm going, and I don't expect to come back to tell everyone... It probably doesn't make sense to you, but maybe someday you'll understand.
I left a gift for you, did Papa give it to you? Do you remember that doll? We made it together when I was really sad... it was so nice of you to do that, to do all the things you did for me. I hate myself for doing this to you... I just hope you'll be okay.
Please hate me, it'll make it so much easier... I'm so sorry, but... ((the next few lines are smeared and illegible)) Please find another. I love you, and that's why I left. But I'll always keep my promise: I'll never forget you.
He lowered his eyelids, slowly. He noticed that there was a single snowflake caught within his lashes - beautiful in its innocent visit now, during that one moment where the mind refuses to let its gates crash open to understanding. Then the sky tilted, came crashing down, and he realized he was on his knees, the world drowning in a flurry of snowflakes and tears. A powerful, desperate scream cut through the chilly air, and it did not belong to his father - Hinrod still stood, unmoving, waiting. As it died down into choked sobs, father spoke again.
"Dre, you gotta come back with me to Lorelei. You gotta talk to your mother."
Mad. A sliver of thought at the back of his head. He's going mad. We are all going mad. He watched as his fingers crumpled the letter paper into a little ball, any visible emotion draining from his face slowly. Promised, she had promised. "I'll come get you. We'll go to our new home together." He had kissed her, for the first time, and he remembered the warmth of those lips - taken from the resting time within the little house they had built together. As he touched his lips now, he noticed from the safe distance of the edge of madness that his fingers came away with the warmth of his blood.
Lorelei. He allowed the name to linger now, until it began to make sense. Mother. Talk to mother. He shook his head, and the thought-shards slowly linked together, reluctantly against the dominant memory of Abagail's lips. He sensed, rather than reasoned, that death waited in Lorelei. It had lost its edge however, everything was fading into dullness since the bad dream had fluttered into his hands. He would welcome it, there was nothing left to him now.
Aba had been the last thing Cailin could never take from him.
He pondered as he kneeled there in the snow, the chilly wind attempting to cut small pieces from his skin. He could just linger there, wait for them to take a blade to his neck. If they wanted his head, and would leave Abagail alone, they could have it. And what a head it was - some little girls would be crying for sure. A symphony of cries to make up for the one who had turned away silently, maybe.
The thought was tempting, but the second most dominant wish from his flight through the forest remained still. His journal. It was unfinished, and if Abagail ever returned, he wanted her to know. That he had changed his mind, about babies... about many things. Wanted her to know how much he loved her, that she was home - maybe the only true home he ever had. And he would be honoured if ma-mama Melian was to be the one to take an axe to his neck.
As he lifted his gaze to meet his father's bloodshot eyes, he had made his decision.
"I'm coming, Papa. I'm coming with you. To Melian's forest."
|Elen, 78 - Evening, hr 12|
Faerik has eaten the girl. Now he lay, frozen, in an empty grave. No one mornes him, for he has betrayed us all.
|Gurtha, 78 - Midday, hr 7|
The way back had been different. Too much weariness to run, both mental and physical. He barely felt his feet trudging along through the snow, each languid step bringing him closer to his cage. Hinrod was never far behind, a silent guardian, a despairing shadow gliding along on the edge of madness. What little they spoke turned around the same subject, again and again, and any attempt to follow the older man's monologues seemed as exhausting as the walk itself.
"We'll make it alright, Dre. You gotta talk to your mother, an' we'll go away together. To the new place. No matter what, we're gonna leave with our son. You already made her lose one child. I'm not gonna let you make her lose another."
There was a wicked kind of satisfaction to be gained from taking small stabs at the man's useless optimism. From reminding him, subtly, just how much he had failed during all those years. From testing if he could crumble and break apart like Draven already had. Testing his faith in his own words. Seeing his face turn red, hearing him raise his voice to a frustrated yell, something he had never done before. He talked about a little boy that played with sticks, and got real scared. Draven did not feel scared, and whenever he allowed a faint sting of guilt prick his consciousness, it was about the way he treated his father now. There was nothing to be felt about the dead girl... nothing but a cold spark of satisfaction.
The life she had taken from him, and lived in his stead, was no longer hers to enjoy.
The pursuers had stopped following. They passed by a few of them... Melian, shining, imposing in her full combat steel. Silence. Snow crushing beneath trudging feet, Celandel's accusing eyes. The chilly wind blowing from the south carried no sound, no trace of others. Maybe the turn of events had confused them - the wolf biting his own tail, and bringing himself back to the den of hunters to face their blades with empty eyes.
As they finally reached Melian's small settlement, it was almost unchanged. For the blink of an eye, or the duration of a dead man's last breath, it seemed possible to believe that he had never begun his flight through the woods upon the bails of rage. They had taken the body away, of course they had. Nothing reminded of Cailin's short visit... nothing but the silence of some of the younger children, and their wary eyes whenever they looked in his direction.
His cage was to be the small shack where some of the little ones went to sleep. Hinrod demanded his armor, his sword - the one Berias had given to him seemingly a decade ago. There was not much left to care about... but he [i]would[/i] finish his journal, his key to finding peace. If they could not ensure it by locking him up properly, he would defend himself for the right to his last words. His father would not leave his side even for a brief moment... without the weight of weariness that rested upon his body and consciousness, he might have felt the urge to laugh... a burst of bitter amusement at the irony of it. So many years he had waited for his father to stay, to stop running back to Lorelei and leave him behind for the bigger half of his life. And now here they were, united again in the darkest of moments, the last of his days.
And all it had taken for them to truly be joined again was a little bit of murder.
Days turned to nights, and nights passed on to days, a flutter of light and dark upon closed eyelids. He was lost in the flow of time, and his journal slowly filled up with a pile of pictures, and even words. But wherever words failed him, there was a drawing to take their place. The sleeping beauty had woken, his little guardian, warm with love and cold with concern for the useless remains of his life. What he had never realized before was now a facet of the smile he brought to her face... a little girl, the prettiest one he had ever seen. But still, a little girl.
It did not matter. But the truth grew within his journal with each passing day, and one day Abagail would know it as he did.
|Vasa, 78 - Midnight, hr 1|
I sat in the grass. It was still wet and cold from the snow. But I was going to fix that.
I wasn't good at making fire, the wooden stick always slipped off the wood and it just wouldn't light. I was frustrated and... also scared. We where only about 6 horizons from the Iron Mountain, thatdreadful mound of dirt, that enslaved my people and turned our minds upside down. Life on the run wasn't easy, mostly due to the fact, that Aliesa, my little sister insisted on settling down. ANd she wanted to settle down here. I sighed and looked to the east. I could still see the Mountain. Not with the naked eye, no. But I saw it in my dreams. I didn't want to stay here, but Aliesa had put her foot down. I had promised her children in a moment of weakness and she wanted her children now.
So I was about to build a house. Settling down without a cave was difficult, yes. But I never wanted to live underground again. And since we needed food and lacked wood, I was constructing a fire to cook something, so that we could go to look for more wood later. The fire was driving me insane.
Aliesa cleared her throat behind me and I turned around, with an irritated "What?! You think you're faster?! Well why don-" I stopped and my jaw dropped. Aliesa had gotten rid of her pants. "A-Aliesa what are you-"
She sighed. "I'm sorry, I just... I want children, Jarvick." I was confused. My mother had never told me that the "special hug" had anything to do with having children. "Oh... So this is how it works." I was shivering. Not from the cold, but... from excitement. I crawled over and grabbed Aliesa's waist, carefully and gently pulling her to the ground beside me.
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